Hi Roomsponsor,
I’m Phoenix, I’ve just turned 17 years old and I’ve been living at YMCA for about 5 months now. I’ll probably stay here until I’m 18 as I’m quite a young resident.
I came to YMCA due to lots of different reasons. I was only 5 years old when my dad started to be both physically and verbally abusive towards me and my mum was neglectful which started from when she developed post-natal depression. She suffers with depression and anxiety so it’s hard to blame her but at the same time it wasn’t OK for me to be the main carer for my younger sister. I had to teach myself to cook and clean and it all became too much for me. Social services got involved when I was 13 years old.
When I was 13 my mum passed me on to live with other members of the family around the city but my family is really big so everywhere I stayed was very cramped and they couldn’t fit me in, so I’d have to move on to another family member where the same problem would happen. When I first left my mums, I was very mixed up. Partly relief, partly guilt and I still didn’t have any security so I never really felt settled. My other siblings did not have the same circumstances or experiences as me. I have 4 half brothers and sisters on my dad’s side but they’ve not experienced any problems and luckily my little sister wasn’t abused as badly as me. Social services were involved with her but they closed the case and she still lives with them.
Everything going on in my home life impacted negatively on my education and I just couldn’t concentrate. I was absent a lot and I played up because I was unhappy then eventually I dropped out when I was 16. Being passed around to different family locations made it really difficult too. I then tried to do some courses at college but it felt like they couldn’t cope with me so I dropped out last year.
I was put on a child protection plan with social services and they referred me to stay in a housing trust in a self-contained flat when I had just turned 16. My mental health declined as I was struggling to cope living on my own at such a young age. Being given accommodation was only part of what I needed, I have a lot of other difficulties like my mental health, and healing from an abusive past.
After 3 months my social worker realised I needed more support and arranged for me to come to YMCA. I would recommend YMCA to other young people because of the help I’ve received, it is more than just a place to stay. Someone is always there to talk to, I’m only 17 so that is important to me.
Now that I’m at YMCA I’m getting a lot of help. Because I’m young, I can’t seek my own tenancy and bid on properties but YMCA are helping me to prepare for this. They’re also preparing me for independent living by teaching me more about cooking, how to budget properly particularly when food shopping and paying bills, keeping my room tidy, doing the washing and so on.
Being at YMCA has made me feel safe and more comfortable in my surroundings and I have found it much easier to make friends, I’ve made some great friends with the other residents here. My keyworker has supported me when it comes to socialising and my confidence is slowly growing. At the moment I feel like I have had too much of a rough time to enjoy any hobbies but I quite like fishing and just being with my friends.
I like getting involved in the different projects and activities that go on here and I particularly like the YHeritage project. I listen to different heritage organisations bid for funding then I discuss with others about whether they’ll be allocated it. It’s a good project for me to take part in because there is decision making, working together in groups, interesting pitches and also the potential for a work based placement with one of the organisations to learn about something in the heritage sector. I’d love to get involved with more courses and projects like this in the future.
YMCA are also supporting me with my mental health. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and they’ve helped me to access counselling to get the regular support that I need. Also I can always talk to my keyworker or other members of staff if I need to.
If it wasn’t for YMCA, I think I would be on the streets or not even have survived it was getting that desperate. If there are any other young people who are going through the same or similar situations then I’d really recommend that they ask for help and always talk about their problems. Don’t keep them to yourself.
Thank you very much for supporting this charity, there are lots of us young people who may not be here today if it wasn’t for the help we received from YMCA.
Thanks for reading my blog!
Phoenix
Thanks for sharing that. You’ve got a lot of reasons to feel like the world is against you, but it’s the strength of will and determination to go on which just leaps out of this. Good luck, and I’m glad to know that the support I give to the YMCA will continue to help people like you. You deserve a good life.
Keep believing in yourself as others are believing in you. You have come along way already. Thank you for inspiring me today. So often when humans are allowed to communicate we all benefit.
Great to hear you are now getting the support you deserve Phoenix – wishing you a happy and successful future
Hi Phoenix, I am sad to hear about the very difficult start in life that you have had, but it is so good to hear that you are now receiving the support that you need to start this new chapter of your life. Hopefully you can get onto some courses that will allow you to explore your interests, make more friends and rebuild your life. I am sure that someone as bright and able as you will have a lot to offer and that your experiences, however difficult, will help you to be able to support and encourage others. Wishing… Read more »
Hey Phoenix, great name and you seem to be living up to it! What a great blog you’ve written too. You are obviously a very brave young woman who is trying to make the best of a difficult start in life and you should be extremely proud of yourself! I know it’s hard trying to be independent from such a young age, I still hate cooking and I am nearly 50! but i can read the instructions on the back of packets! I am glad you have found activities you enjoy and your confidence is growing. Forming new friendships can… Read more »
Phoenix, your blog reinforces why I support YMCA. Hope your life continues to improve. Thanks. Peter
Hi Phoenix. Thanks for sharing your story. You have a kind face and a beautiful smile and like the mythical Phoenix, I’m sure you will rise to meet your full potential in life. Stay strong and be the very best you can be. Good luck in all that you do. Jane x
Thank you for sharing your story and letting us know how our contributions are helping young people like you.
Hello Phoenix. I was very sorry to read the beginning of your blog. You have had a tough time of it. I’m so glad that you are now in the YMCA family and that you are being well supported and being helped, in every way, to build a better future for yourself. You are a very brave and strong young woman and we wish you the very best for the next stage of your life. Take care. Jenny and Philip. X
Dear Phoenix, I was very upset to hear what an awful abusive start you had in life. You have done amazingly well since going to the YMCA and you are articulate about your circumstances and your hopes for the future. I am delighted, that you enjoy being involved with Heritage projects and hope to do some work with them.
Continue believing in yourself and with the help of others, I am sure you will blossom!
With every good wish,
Norma.
Hi Phoenix
Thank you for sharing I’m glad now your at the YMCA feeling safe and secure.
Best wishes
Eira