Dear Roomsponsor,
My name is James and I’m 23 years old. Staying at YMCA has been a transformative experience for me and I wanted to share my story so you know how you are changing the lives of young people as a Roomsponsor.
My earliest memories are from the orphanage in Russia I lived in since I was a baby. I was so young, but strangely, I still have memories of the bed I slept in which was by the window and the tiny chairs we sat in to eat porridge for breakfast. This all changed when my mum adopted me when I was two. After living in Moscow for a couple of years with her we came to the UK.
I am thankful had a stable childhood, but I think there has always been a part of me that felt different to the rest of my family. When my little sister came along I struggled with jealousy which I couldn’t control. I felt that I was being replaced by a new child who was my parents ‘real daughter’ and I couldn’t see why they had adopted me at all.
Throughout my teenage years I suffered from loneliness. Some of this definitely stemmed from my thoughts about being adopted and not being connected to my family. Over the years I have been eager to make connections with others which has sometimes left me vulnerable to people taking advantage of me as well. I found these years hard to navigate emotionally.
At school I struggled to make friends and I often felt different and unwelcome in social situations. I also have learning difficulties which made lessons a challenge. Teachers didn’t always understand the way my brain worked so school became another place I was misunderstood. This impacted on my self-esteem and added to my confusion about who I was and what I should do with my life next.
The one person I could always rely on for support was my Grandad. He never let me down. When I lost him during the pandemic I was crushed. I found it hard to process the sadness I felt and I didn’t know who I could lean on. Sadly, at that time, the only way I could make myself feel better was by drinking and things spiraled from there.
I was addicted to drinking so I could escape the depression I felt. What I didn’t realise was that all of this was just making everything worse. I was directionless and had no ambition in life. I gave up on my education and building a future seemed impossible. I wasn’t looking after myself or those around me and this was affecting my relationships too.
I started drinking more and more until I was coming home drunk every night. This was causing arguments between me and my parents and they even had to call the police on me at one point because I was being aggressive. I feel terrible about this now. I was very out of control but I couldn’t find any other way to deal with how I was feeling.
Eventually my mum said she couldn’t keep having me in the house anymore. The arguments were getting worse. She said I was destroying our family and that it would be best if I found somewhere else to live. This was difficult to hear and I knew I had disappointed my family. I didn’t know how to improve the situation I had created so I needed an escape and somewhere to start over.
I had run away in the past but had always come back home in the end so this felt different and more final than that. I had other family who I sofa surfed with short term, but I didn’t want to damage any more relationships because of my problems. There was a stage I almost thought I’d have to sleep on the street. I had nowhere to go and no one to rely on and it was a scary time. That was until I found YMCA.
On the day I moved in I was nervous as I didn’t know what to expect living on my own. To suddenly have to jump into cooking all my own meals and managing my tenancy seemed like big step. I was in a bad place mentally and deep into my addiction when I arrived so it all seemed a bit surreal.
It’s incredible that YMCA have been able to support me with all aspects of my life. They helped me enrol on to an alcohol abuse group which has given me much better ways of dealing with this habit. I can recognise now that it is just a depressant. Knowing the root of my problem means I can work towards solving it. I now know I am not alone. I have been able talk through issues that have been building up since my childhood in a place I felt safe.
I am happier and more in control of my life. My mental health has improved and although some days are still difficult, it’s become more manageable. I feel more like my real self now.
YMCA also supported me with building my CV and helped me apply to college. I recently started a course in art which has been great so far. I have been doing art since I was little and have always kept it up so it made sense for me to pursue this further. When I’ve finished this I’m hoping to get onto an apprenticeship to become a painter and decorator. I’ve been volunteering for a children’s mentoring charity which has boosted my confidence further. I like helping others.
I’ve realised I am much more capable than I thought. I enjoy living independently and having a routine. Keeping myself busy has improved my wellbeing and has given me more motivation to not drink. Working on myself and getting this space away has allowed me to slowly rebuild relationships with my family too which I’m really happy about.
I am so positive about the year ahead. My mental health has improved so much since arriving at YMCA. I am more confident and I’ve even started thinking about what the future will hold for me. By the end of the year I’m hoping I’ll be ready to move on to my own place, and I know YMCA will be there to support me with the transition. I’d like to start driving lessons as well as this will give me more freedom and will help when I start working.
Thank you for all that you do by being a YMCA Roomsponsor. With your help, young people like me are able to overcome the issues they are facing. I feel so empowered through this experience to work towards a brighter future.
Kind regards,
James
I am so pleased to hear that my small contribution to the YMCA has helped you turn your life around James. I am so pleased that you are now at college and have a positive out look for the future and that you are rebuilding relation ships with your family.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us James. I wish you all the very best with your course & future plans
Hi James. I’m so pleased that you found the YMCA and that they have helped you in so many ways. I hope you feel very proud of yourself with all that you have achieved, so far, with their support. I can hear the enthusiasm in your post for your future. I wish you the very best of luck in achieving all that you want to do. Best wishes Jenny. X
James, I am delighted, that you found YMCA and the difference it has made to your life.
If only all young people who are lost and feel alone could have the same support and help!
I am sure that you will now go from strength to strength and forge ahead with your art and wishes to be a Painter and Decorator. Stay strong and I hope you fulfil your dreams, you have made amazing steps forward in this short time. you should be very proud of yourself.
With every good wish for your future.
Norma
James – the fact that you have turned your life around with help from the YMCA is very heart-warming. I wish you all the best for your future.
Well done James. You are doing so well. Enjoy your course in art. I love art as well . This will be really good for you and good luck with your apprenticeship and with all best wishes for the future.
Fabulous to read your success story James. Well done you and good luck with all your plans for the future.