Dear Roomsponsor,
My name is Leo and I’ve been staying at YMCA for about 18 months. I wanted to share my story and thank you for being a Roomsponsor, your support means so much to young people like me.
I grew up in the care system. I’ve lived everywhere, in lots of different places and with lots of different foster carers. My mum voluntarily gave me up when I was three so she could work on her own mental health and struggles with addiction. We always stayed in touch, but I appreciate that she couldn’t give me what I needed from a parent at the time.
I don’t remember much about my first foster placement. But I know that they could only cope with me for one night. People often struggled to understand the way I behaved. It wasn’t until years later that I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism, which looking back has explained a lot.
Being in foster care presents challenges that other young people don’t always face. I didn’t have any consistency in my childhood, I was always moving town which meant also moving school. This was disruptive and made it harder to keep up in class and maintain friendships. Without a constant family, I had no one I could truly rely on or trust. It felt like no one really knew me as I was having to start from scratch with strangers each time. It wasn’t until much later that I felt the effects of this, I became very withdrawn and had little confidence.
When I was 16 my mum died and my whole world fell apart. I was finally living with her because she had fought so hard to bring me back. Then her death happened all too soon. I’m not saying that she was a perfect parent, but I’m glad I could tell her I loved her before she was gone.
I didn’t really know what would happen to me next because I had never been without a guardian before. I was moved into supported accommodation for minors to see how I’d get on. I lived there for a while, but then I had to leave very suddenly.
At the time, I was feeling confused about my gender identity and questioning some big things about myself. Instead of supporting me, the staff at the accommodation were rude and made me feel isolated and small. It was a horrible feeling, like nobody accepted me or wanted me around. One night I was confronted and threatened about my identity, and after a traumatic conversation my contract was ripped up in front of me. I was told I should leave, but I had nowhere to go. I knew if something didn’t happen fast, I would be out on the streets for the night which was completely terrifying.
Thankfully, this was the moment I found out about YMCA. I was nervous about going there after what I had just experienced, but it was the best decision I could have made. When I arrived, I was classed as a vulnerable adult and stayed in a high-support wing, but I’ve since built up my confidence enough to move into the main resident’s area. I’m really enjoying getting to know people there and I get involved in as much as I can.
YMCA has been able to help me in lots of different areas of my life. Because of my ADHD, I’ve struggled a lot with money management, but this has really improved with some support. I now have a schedule for the payments I need to make, and a shopping rota helps me ensure that I always have enough food stocked in the freezer. It’s important things like this that make me feel more positive that I’ll be able to move on and live independently one day.
I love cooking, so I’ve enjoyed taking part in nutrition classes where we learn to cook all sorts of different meals. Gardening and swimming sessions also help me to calm down and feel more at home in my body.
My mental health has improved more than I thought possible. I know I can always lean on my key worker for support when I need it and I don’t have to feel alone. Finally, having a consistent place to stay has given me time to properly grieve for my mum and also to learn more about myself. I can recognise when I’m not having a good day and just need to sit back and recharge.
Since being at YMCA I have really come out of my shell. I have become better at regulating my emotions and asking for help when I need it. I have put aside some stubbornness and become more open to being supported by others and this has made such a difference to my well-being. I know when I move on from YMCA, I will have the skills I need to be independent, to do things for myself and make my way in the world.
Living completely on my own will be scary at first, but I’m sure that one day I will be strong enough to do it. I’ll be able to cook all the recipes I’ve learnt and eventually adopt a pet cat who I can care for myself.
I’m definitely more ambitious now and I even know what I want to do as a career. I want to use my experiences as a young care leaver to help others who are in the care system. I feel really passionate about this and think that more focus should be placed on giving young people like me the best chance in life.
Thank you for all that you do as a Roomsponsor. Your support means that there is a place that young people like me can feel safe and work towards their future.
Kind regards,
Leo
It was so good to read your story Leo. Your experience with YMCA has clearly been a very positive one and your aim to help other young care leavers sounds rewarding and I’m sure you will achieve your goal…and get a cat too!
Good to hear Leo. God bless you in your future
Thank you for sharing your story Leo – I’m so glad you’ve found a safe space in which to find yourself before you move on with your life. I wish you all the best for the future, I’m sure you’re going to do really well. With love
Great to see that you are feeling more confident about the future now Leo
Well done Leo!
I am moved and really thrilled to read your story, Leo. Well done! You have experienced so much already in your young life and have been given so much and the commitment you have to care for others in their rough times, with your understanding will transform their lives, I feel sure.
With love and best wishes,
M Wise.
Hi Leo, reading about your experience opens my eyes to what obstacles young people face. It sounds as if you are managing really well now and having a positive outlook is a good thing. You as a person and encouragement from your support team are all that can help you achieve your goals, I think using your life experience will make you a good support worker for other people going through the same.
I wish Leo lots of happiness and a future that he deserves. I cannot imagine just how hard it’s been for him and when he finally gets back with his Mum loses her. Telling her that he loved her would have meant so much.
I’m happy to help, so many young people, who just deserve to be loved and supported!
Thank you for sending this to me Leo. I read the whole of your letter and then read it again to my wife. You are amazing to have achieved all you have done. And it is great that YMCA has helped you.
I’m so touched by what you’ve shared, and I’m proud of you, Leo, for sticking it out and not giving up.
I’m sorry for the loss of your mum, but glad to hear you were able to let her know you loved her, before she passed away.
You have a strong backing, and people to help and encourage you, you are strong because of what you’ve been through, and I’m sure you will be able to help many others, because you’ve been there. Bless you Leo, in all that you do.
Thanks for sharing your story Leo. You’re a truly inspiring young man. I don’t doubt that when you find the right job you’ll be a huge support to others too.
Hi Leo, I have read your life story. It is so heart warming to hear how you have been helped while in the YMCA and now want to help young people who have grown up in care. I will be thinking of you and wondering how you are getting on. Maybe you will write about your experience. Good luck and God bless you. Rosalie. P.S. I have 4 sons and 9 grandchildren. Most of us live in Cumbria.
Leo, it sounds as you have really been helped by YMCA, I am glad that you had the opportunity. I am a Roomsponsor because a young person in my extended family needed just the help that you needed. There was no YMCA in the area, but we were to help them get into a similar place. They are in their 30s now, and doing well – I am sure that will happen for you too.
Hi Leo, It’s good to hear your story. I understand the struggles you have been through and you have done well to get where you are now. Now you have good support you can move forward and move out into a life full of hope and happiness.
Well done.
Well done Leo: you have been so brave, and coped with so many difficult situations. I’m delighted the YMCA has been able to put you on the right track. A pet cat, when you get to that stage, sounds a great idea. 😻 Best of luck.
Hello Leo,
It has been a pleasure to read how much you feel supported by the YMCA . It is good to know that their support has given you the stability you craved and how it has helped you grow in confidence and improved your life skills.
Learning how the YMCA helps young people like yourself makes being a Room Sponsor so worthwhile.
So glad to hear how you’ve been helped and how much more positive you now are about the future.
Hello Leo. I felt very moved reading your story and am so pleased you have found the YMCA and they have been a great support to you. You have had a tough start in life but you have now found your feet and seem to be going from strength to strength, which is amazing. Well done you! So glad to hear you were able to tell your mum you loved her. Wishing you good luck in all that you do and very best wishes for your future. Take care. With love. X